So, this past month I probably made the most delicate and important decision of my entire life. I had decided to quit college. Now education is a very sensitive subject for me, so the fact I did this was so outrageous because I predominantly went against my own values.
There once was a time where education meant the world to me, gaining those qualifications and life rewards had a certain uniqueness about it that I never wanted to give up, no matter how hard and stressful it had gotten. Back in high school, I loved being surrounded by the obnoxious essence of the other pupils, no matter how cruel and heartless they would act. Just that experience of learning hands on with people, it offered so much fire and emotion; There was always an appealing respect about it which had me on the edge of life. I always adored learning, I loved every subject I was getting 'forced' to do whilst other students moaned and groaned about their fatal educational life. It kept me going, I met amazing people who in my opinion where the best of the bunch!
High school pretty much put into perspective the type of life I wanted to adopt as I grew with society. This allowed me to further my interests and choose my A-Levels during the end of year 11. I was ecstatic! I couldn't wait to get started and to begin assembling the building blocks to my life! Yet, little did I know that would not be the case, at least not in the rears of college. But I must not skip ahead, so It got to the first day of college. I was terrified. I had legitimately chosen the one college that was the furthest away from my circle. But I loved the idea of starting fresh and to take on a completely new identity that I previously had to disguise in the perks of being a high school student.
I got dropped off and found myself waiting outside because every part of my body was frozen with fear. This is where I met my best friends. One guy came up to me whilst I was still in such state, he was well dressed, well presented and slightly over confident. But, I lived for it. We stuck together all day, both equally terrified, picking up new people around each corner. These people became my absolute love and happiness and they still are. They are one of the few things college gave me which I'm thankful for.
So college went by as fast as ever. Before I knew it my exams were creeping up, my deadlines were getting closer and the workload was getting more. Now the thing is I was totally prepared for this, I understood the level of work and commitment needed to actually succeed in college and I was desperate to get through this. However, that I struggled with-getting through. Although the work was hard and confusing at times, It wasn't that which was holding me back. No matter the difficulty, I always put the time and effort in to gain that ever needed understanding in order to get my brain through the learning aspect of things. But I noticed in myself, I wasn't happy anymore which was extremely unlike me; I have a very particular personality which often shows my happy trait. For this not to shine through was worrying for me.
I was scared, confused and just overall tired. Due to this I began to question why I was there and had lost faith into what my values where. I was a completely different person and that terrified me. I started hating my lessons and completing work I didn't want to complete because my heart was no longer in it anymore. The worst part of this was the waiting. My timetable was very particular in keeping me in college all day, I was sitting around doing nothing more than actually learning. Now this didn't help my thoughts in the sense of wondering what my purpose was. After months of these thoughts completely invading my brain, it slowly came to sense. I was feeling this because I was unhappy, unsure and lost. So I began to write. I wrote everything from romantic short stories to long haul thrillers. The thought of college gradually become out of the picture from my future. College didn't give me time to wonder, dream or think; But writing did.
They threw me in the deep end before I even stepped through those doors on the first day. They didn't want me to dream, they just wanted me to have good grades based on a memory test, they wanted a good league table position to get more funding and I HATED that. They turned education into a competition, marketed to make money rather than a delightful experience for us students to enhance and discover who we really are. College gave me stress a 17 year old shouldn't feel. Yet I must be thankful in somewhat as it is that very stress that drove me to write.
I began to realise college just wasn't for me. I felt anxious about even thinking this because college is important right? You need A level's to have a good job, a good future and just overall a good life. That was hammered in my head from the second I was able to take charge and responsibility of my future, it was the only liable option we were allowed to take and made everything else seem wrong.
This is not true. Having a year in college taught me that you must do what YOU want because would you rather you do something you love and be happy or do something your hearts not in and be lost? I know which one I'd pick.
The BBC news spoke to many people who didn't take A levels or didn't get enough to secure their place in university and here's what a few had to say.
I failed all my A-levels because I did not fit into the category of people that our ridiculous education system caters for. I also never went to university. However I now sell oil tankers for a living. A-levels are just a distant memory to joke about. Hugo, London
I got one GCSE at grade C, never did A-levels. I now make approximately £100,000 a year in the real estate industry in the US. Not bad for a flunker, eh? Sue, Huntington Beach, California
I realised that I'm more than college. I fit into a category that is impossible to fend for in terms of education. I need to be let out in the world and use this time I have to add to society in ways college never allowed me to.
Now I'm taking a step into my future, I now know what I want to do! College was blinding my true talents and stopping me from taking up what I want in life. However, I still want to learn because learning is my passion, I just want to learn something I LOVE, be involved in something which can enhance my true self.
I've never been happier.
JUST BE YOU.
- Charlotte
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